The extraordinary nature of your baby’s conception, gestation and birth is ripe with opportunities for mega-bonding. But, because it can be confusing (and daunting!) to travel into the uncharted land of bonding with a child who did not come to you in the way you initially expected, it will simplify your postpartum bonding efforts to begin this venture-of-the-heart now. Start with the following:
IVF specific children books: There are lovely books made for children born from donor-DNA, or a gestational surrogate. Choose a few of your favorites and begin reading them to baby while he’s in the womb. If you’re using a gestational surrogate send a recording of you reading the books that she can play for baby.
Love letters: Write a letter to your baby each month describing how you’re feeling about meeting her, dreams you have for her future, exciting adventures you’ll have, April Fools pranks you can pull on your partner together and anything else you feel compelled to write about. The intent is to get in a zone where you feel an intimate connection with your baby, even if you’re not physically together. If you are physically together, you can read her the letters as you go. These can also be sweet mementos to give your child when she’s older.
Talkies and Still Shots: Don’t be shy of that selfie stick! Who cares if your chin and neck have become one, or your feet have eaten your ankles- you’re pregnant, and exquisite. If you are using a surrogate, take photos and videos with her (if she’s comfortable with the idea) to fortify your connection to the gestation of your baby, and the Earth Angel who has chosen to be the initial vessel for baby’s life.
Childbirth Preparation Classes: Learning about what you (or your surrogate) will journey through during childbirth will make baby seem more real. Having an unseen moving human in your body can feel very abstract- even more so when that human is in another woman’s body. If you feel any doubt about the actuality of your baby coming into your life, childbirth preparation classes will plant your heart firmly in your beautiful reality.
Learn more by ordering your copy of Feng Shui Mommy.